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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? We need to talk about the new forest project.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the city!” He doesn’t get it. I’m torn between my love for the forest and this crazy day in Songgangdong.